What would you say to someone who says that the reason you're not more successful is because you're not young enough or beautiful enough? In other
words, even if you were younger you're not attractive enough? Hmmmm.
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how do you respond?
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 prairiepassion |
how do you respond? |
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Posts: 368 (Jul 5, 2009 2:17 PM) Frequently Perched |
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desicrowefan |
re | ||
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Posts: 1697 (Jul 5, 2009 2:20 PM) Pro-Peace |
Is it even worth a response? I just can't see why it would be worth the thought to try and convince someone who doesn't appear to be encouraging to
realize differently. Unless it is some underhanded way of saying 'well you aren't more successful for reasons beyond your control'. Hmm.
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Thalassatx |
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Posts: 7158 (Jul 5, 2009 2:50 PM) Perch Eminence |
I agree with Desi. Someone who says that isn't worth a response.
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F14K |
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Posts: 9586 (Jul 5, 2009 4:53 PM) Strikes Back! |
"Oprah is an average looking minority with a life long weight problem"
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prairiepassion |
now this | ||
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Posts: 369 (Jul 5, 2009 5:24 PM) Frequently Perched |
This morning she came downstairs to go out with her husband and her daughter asked about going shopping for t-shirts. So I suggested The Gap. My sister said
"we don't go to the Gap". So I said, "It's still a good place". And she said; "Don't butt in when I'm giving my
daughter advice." So I left the room. Minutes later her husband called me on his cell phone and said my sister was crying because I was so rude to her.
And then he said: "Don't you ever f....g talk to her like that again." Is it just me or are these people over the top? I don't get it. No
matter what I say; she jumps on me. She was holding her grandson (my great nephew) yesterday. I don't see him that often and so she said: "Don't
look at him. He doesn't like it cause he doesn't know you."
Yikes! |
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lindylulu |
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Posts: 8407 (Jul 5, 2009 6:04 PM) |
I sense insecurity in your sister. We don't choose our relatives, but we can choose the situations of when and how we see them.
Here's a similar story from 5 years ago - we avoid this relative as much as we can. My BIL invited us to his home in the country for 2 nights on a weekend, so we went. He was in my face about having a 3rd cup of coffee on the first morning. That evening, he asked us to remain at the dinner table and not move while he fed his dog in the formal dining room; the dog would not eat if anyone moved. I had to use the facilities and I got up, and he pointed his finger at me and said "I asked you to remain seated." I left the room and he chased after me and said that I had no respect for animals, and that I had used the shower 2 hours earlier than he asked me to because his grout job was still drying. I recalled him asking us not to use the shower until the next morning, which I did. He was out of control so I asked my husband if we could leave, and we left. On the drive home, my husband told me that his dear brother had tried to get him to go out behind the barn to smoke some weed with him. Dear brother knew that my husband is a recovering alcoholic and that weed is a no-no for him, but he didn't seem to have any respect for human beings. So, that's that...sometimes we have very strange relatives who aren't healthy for us. |
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Junebug924 |
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Posts: 919 (Jul 5, 2009 6:08 PM) Four wheels move the body |
I would tell your sister to tell her husband to never f*ing talk to you that way ever again. If she has issues with you, that's her problem, not his.
Unless you are somehow beholden to them, it sounds like a break from them is in order...but let your sister know why. No one deserves to be spoken to or
treated like like that...family or not family.
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine...
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Im Just Jules |
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Posts: 4440 (Jul 5, 2009 6:11 PM) Bad Ass |
I assume they're visiting you? When do they go home?
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prairiepassion |
I wish! | ||
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Posts: 370 (Jul 5, 2009 6:30 PM) Frequently Perched |
No, I'm staying w/ them for a couple of days before I go home to Toronto. And, I can tell you, this is the last time I'll stay with them ever! I'd
rather sleep in the park! No one has the right to talk like this but these two think they can say whatever they want and you just have to take it. Honestly, if
I had someone else to stay with, I would. I don't but it's only two more days and I'll suck it up.
Lindylulu: I think your BIL and mine should get together! |
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desicrowefan |
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Posts: 1698 (Jul 5, 2009 6:39 PM) Pro-Peace |
If there's ever a chance for you and your sis to hash things out, I don't think it will take place under her roof. I hope for your sake the rest of
your time there goes fast, and if I was in your shoes, I would just keep away and say as little as possible. It isn't about 'giving in' to them,
but avoiding any more conflict.
I don't condone how the husband (or sis) acted, but if something similar to the Gap story does come up, I'd say you don't have anything more to say once the sis says 'no'. Doesn't matter if the Gap is the most wonderful place on Earth, but if she doesn't want her kid going there, then that's that. |
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Mimmilina |
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Posts: 9789 (Jul 5, 2009 6:41 PM) Ridley's Crusader
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prairiepassion wrote:How about: "Well, that explains your situation, but I don't see how it applies to mine." 
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desicrowefan |
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Posts: 1699 (Jul 5, 2009 6:42 PM) Pro-Peace |
Hee!
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prairiepassion |
hee hee | ||
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Posts: 371 (Jul 5, 2009 6:49 PM) Frequently Perched |
How about: "Well, that explains your situation, but I don't see how it applies to mine.
 Thanks, I needed that.
Hey, I just won two tickets to the Michael Jackson Memorial concert! |
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nosyone |
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Posts: 6391 (Jul 5, 2009 7:02 PM) |
I'm guessing there's a history of tension between you and your sister. Sometimes family can be really disfunctional. I bet you can't wait to
leave...I probably wouldn't feel comfortable staying with them again after her husband spoke to you like that...JMHO.
A day without laughter is a day wasted. ~
Charlie Chaplin
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prairiepassion |
things are better | ||
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Posts: 372 (Jul 5, 2009 7:44 PM) Frequently Perched |
Well, we had a quiet chat just now and things have calmed down, but I won't ever forget that my BIL spoke to me like that! In any case, life goes on, and
I've given my niece and my sister the tickets to the MJ Memorial Concert I won, cause I really don't want to go into that huge crowd, but they're
into it big time! I think that settled things down.
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hando49 |
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Posts: 6018 (Jul 6, 2009 10:16 AM) |
." Is it just me or are these people over the top? I don't get it. No matter what I say; she jumps on me. She was holding her grandson (my great nephew) yesterday. I don't see him that often and so she said: "Don't look at him. He doesn't like it cause he doesn't know you." I think "Fuck you very much" would do nicely. These people are warped, period. "The tears of the world are a constant quality. For each one who begins to
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hando49 |
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Posts: 6019 (Jul 6, 2009 10:22 AM) |
Have you ever told her how much her words have hurt/angered you? Even if she gets defensive....she should know how it affected you. Jesus
"The tears of the world are a constant quality. For each one who begins to
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Fiddlegilr |
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Posts: 2554 (Jul 6, 2009 11:39 AM) Perch Eminence |
Prairie, that's just awful that they would talk to you like that! I'm so sorry that happened!
You're a better person than I would have been in those same circumstances! I would have told 'em both to go to hell and then checked into a hotel for the remainder of my visit without leaving them any kind of information on how to contact me. Then I would have gone to the MJ concert and sent them lots of pictures of myself rubbing elbows with Janet Jackson and having a fabulous time. Then I'd sign that rude BIL up for random "Hair Club for Men" and "Male Enhancement" supplement junk mail because he definitely has some issues with his masculinity. I'd send my sister lots of "self-help" books to help her cope with the fact that she's not successful because she just isn't smart or pretty enough and then I'd send all of her children gift cards to The Gap every birthday and holiday for.the.rest.of.my.life. Don't get mad...get even! That's my motto! Fiddle |
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SweetJulls |
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Posts: 3746 (Jul 6, 2009 1:35 PM) Perch Pro |
I like how you think, Fiddle.
"If the Republicans will stop telling lies about us, we'll stop telling the truth about them." ~ Adlai Stevenson
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Hebea |
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Posts: 3442 (Jul 6, 2009 3:41 PM) Frequently Perched |
Fiddle....LOL
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prairiepassion |
ha ha | ||
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Posts: 373 (Jul 6, 2009 8:11 PM) Frequently Perched |
Fiddle; I love it and wish I had your guts.
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